Pls need objective opinions, i was separated on and off with my husband for a year now, he was emotionally?

abusive and pyshologically too and likes to throw things when he is pissed off at me.and he often times mentioned his exes too(were married for 8 yrs...),he is thoughtful at times and keeps asking for forgivenes when im about to leave himfor the last 4 yrs since i got here in 2004,im still not citizen here,he keep telling me firstmonths i was here that i should go back toasia,he told me that i dontbelong here, coz maybe when i cannot multi takscooking so many things? and im kinda slow,and i didnt like his always wacthing ane smoking dope who knows how many times a week? he is thoughtful tho during occasions and ask sorry when he hurts my feelings.im asian,hes caucasian in north america,im 31, he is 46.an he likes to smoke dope w/c i dont like,he likes to watch almost everyday w/c i dont like and he gets really crankythat he gets caught. when we got separated last year jan.and i told him i dont want him,then he started to flirt back with his exes who lives in usa,they were dating 20 yrs ago,shes married with 1kid,wegot 2. she started communicating with him before our separation and were so nosy with out relationship and so with his other exwho was also nosy with our relationship and is married too. my ex told me at the time,he said to them he cannot remember how me andd my husband met,and my sis in law was telling them somehow that he has rocky marriage with me,truth is they dont know that he is mostly at fault,abusive and disrespectful.so when me and my ex first got separated,he told his 2 exes that he wishedhecan send me back to my country and that he sent me to funny farm...i dint have place to go but a women's shelter,he didnt let me see my older kid for her b-day,too many excuses i found that out later,my lil one was with me at the shelter. summer time my ex came back to me,prior to that he stopp ed facebooking his 2 exes and those 2 were asking still why hes not replying,so by may,we kinda get back,summer fall las year was rocky i broke up with him quite few times,till this fall time,i fell a lil in love with a guy who is 8 yrs younger,no job,smokes dope too like my ex,has a depression i found this no jobnotin university later which he lied bout,but he was on still highschool coz keepdropping outfromschool,but when he wants to b mygf,then at times ibrokeup with him coz im not 100in love,he criedand get more depress and i pitied him nd feel lil love so i go back to him..on and off i broke upwith him coz he always sleeps and smokes dope .my ex hubby has a good paying job,house but not under my name,not trusting coz he thinks all asian wants money whicn i s not the case an im under his medical insurance,,,the younger one seems to be more caring and respectful,but financially not stable,and lazy? to look for job,well there arent much job here too.he even gavemepromise ring,but i broke up with me from our quarrel few days back,he wants to b with me for xmas,i wan to b wih my kids,and he thinks that i wanted to spend exmas wid kids an ex husband,,,now what do u think? plsi need help! i still love my ex yet i fall in love with this other guy.my ex foun out that i got bf and hegot mad,,,and got more distant,got more screamingif we argue bout the kids..pls. help i pitied the other guyand cherish his care for me an felt guilty when he keeps crying wheni breakupwith him...my ex husband said get back to bf..i askd my ex hubby if hewants to startallover again,he said no,if he is going to make changes of his bad attitude but for the last 4 yers i askd him he always say no,few times a lil willing..my ex husband used to cry too when itry toleave him....pls help im torn between them...